Archives for : Orion

Hellforces Review

On to Hellforces developed by Orion and published by GMX Media or BUKA Entertainment (I’ve seen both depending on where you look). OMG, what possesed me to play this? Oh yeah, killing zombies and the forces of hell. Sounded like fun to me, you know that it sounds fun to you as well. Well this FPS took a wrong turn somewhere very important.

That wrong turn lead me to NEVER even completing the first area. So let me tell you why, to save you all the heartache and headache while giving you the chance to laugh at my pain and even my pathetic game playing skills for those of you who did manage to get further. You crazy gluttons for punishment.

So what was right and wrong with this game?

The Right
1. You could change the key map and probably should if you are used to most other FPS’s.
2. Um the graphics, weren’t too bad.
3. The story seemed mildly interesting.
4. Some would say, because it has zombies. If you aren’t already bored to tears by the genre.
5. um.. you can kick boxes around and really high.

The Wrong and oh my was it.
1. The game was glitchy things you killed would fall to the ground you’d bump them and they would get caught in a fence and twitch around. That was a bit amusing but when looking for things coming at you, you certainly don’t need the things you’ve already killed twitching away like you haven’t. You waste ammo that way. Especially when they have managed to float half way up the fence and are now at head level.
2. The keys are slow and unresponsive, now if this was a straight run and gun I’d say screw it this can be dealt with. Check item 4 on this list and you’ll really see why this becomes a test of whether you will throw your keyboard across the room.
3. Just in the first area alone it took me forever to open a gate after I had killed everything in my area AND everything visible on the other side of the gate. Nope you need to find keys hidden among the trash and stuff. But the starter area was small yet it still took forever and a day to find this out.
4. Now they want me to do a platformer-esk jump to a broken balcony. Sounds easy. Should be easy. Would be easy if the controls actually did what you pressed when you press it instead of horrendously lagging. Seriously I can run much more processor intensive games and have never had the keyboard lag like I did in Hellforces. Then add that a spot requires what seemed like a precisely timed jump. This was a painstakingly suicidal experience. (I had already spent hours just getting passed the damn gate). After an hour of failed jumps I stopped and went and made repeated successful jumps over a bunch of saws in Super Meat Boy, just to make sure it wasn’t me.

So, the game story seemed mildly interesting and the first stage had a decent look to it so much so that it peaked my interest long enough to kill hours of time. The butchered game-play made me down right pissed off and mostly at myself for my oh so serious attempt to get further into this game. In the end I ended up torturing myself more than I got to shoot things and it just made me want to scream. I uninstalled this bad boy and hope it never sees the light of my harddrive again.

Save yourself the pain. I wouldn’t let a demon from Hell force me to touch this game again 0.5 out of 5! Yeah, it may be kind of playable, but you really, really shouldn’t.